Saturday, March 14, 2009

To all of the annoying people on the planet. . .

Luckily for me, I was blessed by being born cool. And I don't mean kind of cool, I'm talking super cool. I mean I'm funny, I'm hot, I'm like uber-smart, I have regular bowel movements.... What more could you ask for as far as being cool goes? Nothing, that's what. But there are some of you out there that I have to say are decidedly uncool. And down right frigging annoying. And the most annoying part about you, is that you are completely oblivious to your annoyingness.

For example, some people that I know have a problem with interjecting their annoyingness into a conversation that I may be having with someone of equal coolness. Hey annoying-hole, don't you realize that if you were cool and not so annoying that maybe me and my cool buddy would be talking to you! But your weirdo annoying comments make it all the more likely that I will continue to ignore your ridiculous annoyingness!!

As a matter of fact, annoying-holes of America, you are really starting to hack me off! The way that you constantly try to make stupid jokes that aren't funny at all, but they are in fact amazingly annoying. Don't you notice that nobody laughs at them? That instead everyone sighs loudly, shakes their head, and then begins texting each other, furiously screaming about your annoyingness!!!!

Beware annoying-holes, because you have lit my fuse with your unbearable annoyingness and at some point I am going to erupt! And when that eruption occurs you will finally be aware of your annoyingness, because I will be hollering about your annoying ways while simultaneously poking you in your big, fat, annoying eyeball!

Ok, I feel much better now.

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