Well, I'm gearing up for everyone's favorite green tinged holiday. That's right folks, St. Patty's day is here again. Would you all believe me if I told you that this year is the first year I will be partaking in the St. Patty's day festivities? It's the truth, or tru dat for the slang-sayers out there. How is that possible you ask, what with my penchant for parties? The answer is simple..... I mother stinking work a lot. And this is the first year that the god's saw fit for St. Pat's to fall on my regular day off. Not only that, but I also have Wednesday off. A perfect built-in recovery day. If I didn't know any better, I'd say my participation this year was meant to be.
So, how does one prepare for St. Pat's, you ask? Well, in my strange little universe, it goes a little something like this. I started by laundering and laying out my St. Patteroo attire. It will consist of the following:
1. My most comfortable dark blue, multi-pocketed, elastic-waist having(what?! I hear green brewskis can cause bloating and gas!) jeans.
2. My favorite green john deere shirt that says, "I would trade my husband for a john deere tractor." (which is a true statement, by the way)
3. Cleverly decorated Saint Pat-hole sockies.
4. Comfortable, yet stylish green converse chuck taylors.
5. The sought after shamrock antennae.
6. Fashion forward shamrock-shaped sunglasses (my eyes are sure to be light sensitive from the green beer)
7. A fine, and eclectic array of St. Patrick's temporary tattoos (which came straight from Ireland....or Walmart. Your choice.)
8. Several stands of green beads made from the finest gems, that were mined from the coveted Dayton area....... fine gem mines.
9. And absolutely nothing underneath. Well except that I've decided to paint green shamrocks to cover my hoots and my coot, just to show my dedication.
Tonight, I plan to get a good night's sleep in order to be rested up and ready to go tomorrow. I will roll out of bed around noonish (I'm not quite hardcore enough to do the 9:00am bullcrap, unless you mean still going by 9:00am on the 18th!). Plus, I like to think of noon as my 9:00am anyhoo. I have my no-fun-having-but still willing to drive my drunken butt around-designated drivers set up. I've pledged to stick to beer all day, and will drink no hard alcohol no matter how nicely you ask me. And I think that about covers it.
What's the big deal you ask? It's just Saint Pat's day. It's only March 17th, you say? People do this crap every year and it's nothing new or exciting. You think I'm getting my hopes up that it will be something spectacular and life changing, only to be sorely disappointed by its mundaness. But worry naught, little buddies. All of my preparation is not to ready me for the Saint Patrick of Ireland Day, but rather to ready old Saint Pat for me. That's right, I said it. So look out green beer drinkers, here I come. You might even learn something.
I'll let you know how it goes.