Saturday, April 11, 2009

Man, I feel old.

I am fast approaching my 31st birthday, which is on April 17th. I really can't believe I am that old!! It seems like only yesterday I was turning 21 (and what an enormous deal I made out of that birthday!! I'm surprised I even survived it!), not ten years ago. It's amazing how much difference a decade makes. . . . or not really.

Would it surprise anyone to know that I am celebrating my birthday at Dave and Buster's? My first choice was, of course, Chuck-E-Cheese, but I have been assured that Dave and Buster's is just as fun, but without the kids. What's wrong with kids? They are aerodynamic and easy to throw, and I am certain that if I didn't win any tickets, I could easily steal theirs!! And their candy! I love candy!

But I digress. After Dave and Buster's, we will be returning to the city of neighbors to finish off the evening. I am super excited! And please, I know what you are all thinking. I mean it when I say I am not offended by cash gifts!! Or personal checks. Or large quantities of alcoholic beverages. So fret not, little friends!

I also wanted to let everyone know that my armpit is sore. Not for any good reason, either. I just woke up today and it was sore. Did I ever tell you about the time that I sprained my buttcrack in my sleep? These things happen in my world.

In other news, I was reading where a lady was attacked by a polar bear at a zoo in Berlin. . . . after she climbed down a fence, over a wide hedge full of thorns, over a large concrete wall, and swam through a moat to where they were. I am totally not making this up. I know the ending that everyone is hoping for. . . that she croaked in a feeding frenzy, complete with toes and butt cheeks flying. But sadly, she survived.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am hoping someone will buy me a polar bear for my birthday so it can bite off my defective armpit. A girl can dream, right?

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