I thought I would take this opportunity to tell you all that I am really stuck on my old man. Some of you know him and some of you don't. And if you don't, you are really missing out. He is smart and funny, a great friend and a good father, a loving husband and a good man.
He really enjoys the simple things in life. Everyday he heads to UDF to get the newspaper and something to drink for himself and for me. You may be asking yourself, "Self, why doesn't he just subscribe to the newspaper and buy canned drinks from the grocery store to keep at home?" The answer is simply that he enjoys the task of heading to UDF and doing something nice for me everyday.
He loves to hunt, especially deer hunting. Every year he counts down the months, weeks and days until his big hunting trip at the end of November. He and a whole group of his buddies head down to Adams county every year for gun season. He really enjoys being in the woods and protecting humanity from those bloodthirsty deer (he assures me that they are truly vicious creatures worthy of extermination).
After the days hunt, they all return to camp and act like boys do. They eat like they are starving, they drink beer like they've never tasted it before, and they tell stories and make fun of each other until their sides ache from the laughter. I know this will sound weird, but I love the way he smells when he comes home from his trip. He always smells like a combination of campfire and dirty dog (I told you it was weird). But I love that smell because it means that he is back at home, and I can't wait for him to proudly regale me with tales from the hunt.
He, much like myself, wouldn't rather be any other place in the world than our trailer on Lake Cumberland in Kentucky. He's been going down there with his family since he was a little boy, and I think he is glad that in me, he has finally found someone who loves it there like he does. I always cook on the charcoal grill like he likes, we listen to the awesome classic rock radio station that Nancy, Kentucky has, and we relax. He takes me out on our boat and he never complains, no matter how many hours I want to spend fishing. Even when it's pouring down rain. And freezing cold.
He loves the history and the military channels and could spend hours watching the shows they play. Whether it's about World War I or Navy Seals training, he likes it all. He watches Saving Private Ryan every time it comes on television and is an unfailing supporter of the men and women who fight for our great country. He is very proud to be an American, and tells me that one of the regrets he has in life is not joining the military.
He also loves Elvis Presley. He has a countless number of Elvis performances on DVD and VHS that he watches regularly (especially when he is buzzed after we come home from a bar). He admires Elvis for many reasons and thinks it is despicable the way that Priscilla lives off of his memory. Some of his favorites are the gospel songs that Elvis sings, and he had them playing at the funeral home when his daddy passed away.
He is a strong leader. The people that work for him would follow him into the fire, no matter the situation. He leads by example and has an unbelievable work ethic. He is honest and fair, and always stands up for what is right, no matter how unpopular it may be. He is nothing if not real and true. He doesn't have a fake bone in his body.
He cracks me up with the weird and vivid dreams he has that he tells me about. He often dreams about zombies and how he and I are killing them to save ourselves. Just today he was telling me a about a dream he had that we were hanging out with Brett Michaels from the band Poison. He said that I kept asking Brett if his hair was a wig and trying to snatch it off his head.
I'm a little embarrassed to say that it was a dream of mine that prompted this post about my old man. I have a crazy crush on Dwayne Johnson, better known as "The Rock." Last night I dreamed that Dwayne was in love with me and trying to get me to run away with him. Even in my dreams, I am totally and unconditionally in love with Kelly Hamilton. Without hesitation but with a raised eyebrow, I told the stupid old Rock to pound salt. The Rock ain't got nothing on my old man. I prefer the smell of Ralph Lauren Romance and wintergreen Grizzly any day.