Monday, April 27, 2009

It Is Hot As H E Double Hockysticks Outside!

Holy stinking crapballs, it is hot as a you know what outside!! I am totally not kidding you when I say that my buttcrack immediately started sweating as soon as I walked out of my house today. I frigging hate that. There is truly nothing worse than feeling like you have a greasy buttcrack, and believe me, I would know. Maybe I should break down and finally shave my legs to help cool me off. . . Nah, just kidding. That would actually require me to bend down, and we all know that ain't happening!

You know what is ticking me off about this heat wave? That it ends tomorrow. Yep, that's right. It is going to rain on both of my days off. In case you didn't know, I am so well thought of where I work that I was blessed with the fantastic days off of Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Actually, they don't hate me, that's just the way the chips fell this year, but stillllllll! I wanted to dig around in my empty flower beds, and maybe address the beautiful dandelions that are peppering my yard. But noooooo. The heat wave clearly only exists to make my buttcrack sweat. I think I'm going to start dragging my butt across the floor like a dog to dry it off. What?! It itches too!

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