Questions. . .

--Have you ever felt so stinking bloated that the button holding your pants closed has the potential to be a deadly weapon??

--Does anyone else on the planet think that Joan Rivers is a scabby old horse-faced hag?

--Don't you wish that all public restrooms had those awesome flushable buttwipes?

--Does anybody else secretly wonder if swine flu originated in humans because some little mexican dude drank too much tequila and boned a pig?

--Isn't it amazing that even though canned tuna smells like a dirty old coot hole that people still eat it?

--Am I the only person alive who would like to see to see Michael Jackson naked out of pure curiosity? I'm mean what's going on down there?

--Does anybody else thoroughly enjoy finding lint in their belly button?

--Have you ever farted in your sleep so loudly that you woke yourself up?

--What ever happened to jelly shoes? Are crocs the new age jelly shoes? Do you ever feel like killing people who are wearing crocs or jelly shoes?